Now that he's officially off...

I will finally post about when he left.

April 7th was about the worst day ever and I had been dreading it for an entire year. The day before, I woke up so stressed... it was our last full day together and the anxiety of spending every possible second together was more than I could manage. We ran our last errands and went to dinner... I think it was wise to squeeze a few more fun moments in, especially now that I am clinging to those. :(

I look shockingly good considering the mass amounts of blubbery hormones racing through my body!

Man, do I miss that face!

Hanging out, like usual.



I can't really put a number on the amount of hours I slept that night... mostly because I don't think negative numbers are applicable. It's so weird to think of your spouse just getting on a bus and then being gone for a year. I stressed over our last minutes together. What would they be like? I dreaded knowing that I would walk to my car all alone. Drive home all alone. Go to bed all alone. Well, of course there was Ellie, but ugh. It was the thought of all those "firsts" without him that wrecked havoc on my heart. I was so fearful of that initial sinking sense of loneliness. I know that I eventually passed out, because when we woke up a few hours/minutes later, I was freaking out. How could I sleep at a time like this? There were valuable moments of watching him breathe that I was missing! [How pathetic!] The day started like most others, Ellie woke up and we scooped her into bed with us. We tickled, kissed, and watched her scoot around for awhile. As time crept on, I could feel the anxiousness in the air. It was time. We packed Andrew's last bag and loaded the car. Directly before leaving, a set of military relations missionaries showed up. We, obviously, didn't have time to chat, but they promised to come by next week to see Ellie and I. I was a little irritated that they showed up unannounced, but that is the missionary way sometimes. :)

Once on post, I dropped Andrew and his bags off so he could draw a weapon [or, a gun.] while I grabbed a few last minute items for his travels. As I exited the PX, there stood the regular missionaries. I was so shocked and considering how on edge I was, I think I gave them a tearful hello and they agreed to come by next week, also. Then we all headed to F Quad. It was unclear as to when Andrew would ACTUALLY leave, but between 1:30 and 7, we relaxed in the grass, had a quick lunch, and tried to keep it together. It was sort of nice... Surrounded by other wives and families, all of us waiting to begin this... journey? I'm not sure if that's the right word. Just waiting for... It. Yes, It. Around 7:30, they loaded the buses and then he was gone. It was both traumatic and thrilling to watch him carry his weapon and head for his first deployment. I don't know. At the time, it was less thrilling. As I drove home, Ellie wailed. Of course she didn't know what was really happening, but it tugged at my heart that with Papa out of sight, she was a disgruntled gal.

Ellie looking up at us from the car.

Notice the costume change... something about infants and whites...

And then he was gone.

And, as always, life went on. This was Ellie the next morning... Let me tell you, it is hard to be sad with a bright little face like that checking you out. :)

And so now this is how I see Andrew. :( It's bittersweet... To have the technology to even have video chat as an option is extraordinary, but something about seeing him aches my heart... why not just have him in person?!?!?
So. Not that we're finished with the first month, I am happy to be back to blogging and back in Maryland. :)