I am incredible.

Originally posted: 10/4/2010

Well, maybe it's not ME that's incredible.. but my body definitely is. As I get closer to delivering my first baby, I have never been more stunned at how beautifully crafted the human body truly is. There are times when I feel like my hips are never-ending and the stretch marks will NEVER fade and that, ultimately, karma has failed me in every way. But... In my sane mind, I realize how absolutely incredible I am. In 9 months I GREW a human. I created an entire organ [for those that don't know- only a pregnant woman can generate an entire organ, the placenta] and grew a human. Every hair. Every fingernail. Every itty bitty chunkster toe. Everything that Ellie is or becomes is a result of a perfect process that occured INSIDE my body. In 9 months she became cell-by-cell... Her heart started beating... Her first intentional movements squished my bladder [time after time after time!]... Her first yawns and smiles... How do I have an infant less than an inch from the outside world? How do I carry her, even if clumsily? What made me, a 19 year old, suitable to create this little infant that in a matter of days with cry, sleep, cuddle, give baby kisses, eat? How did my body know what nutrients to take and filter in the most beautiful way? I'm not religious and am pro-choice... but, the mere thought of being able to create, grow, and deliver a human... How does a person explain that? Sometimes I get so upset about the weight gain and the destruction she's done... and then I think of her babies. She will carry children in the same perfect pattern and I will watch her discover the same empowering notion- that she is woman and there isn't ANYTHING more incredible than that.