TWO.

Originally posted: 10/8/2010

How did the past 39 weeks and 5 days pass by so quickly? How is it even remotely possible that I am expected to have a baby in two days? 48 hours? HOW?! Maybe she senses my disbelief and that has influenced her to make my womb her Prenatal Club Med. Either way, I am just a couple days from being a Mother. This has been a really trying, stressful time in my life for many reasons, but the thought of her little chunky baby thighs make me melt... AHHHHHH! I can't even deal with the excitement!

Today's note is about sensory memories and a few notes to myself for when things get tough...

Sensory memories are a really powerful force in my life... In fact, I can recall almost any memory and am constantly reminded of them by smells, etc. I can still taste the Arizona Green Tea I guzzled before the pregnancy test that revealed little Ellie's imminent life. I can still feel the three little pops that were her first kicks at 18 1/2 weeks. I can still see the first ultrasound pictures of her spine. I can still hear the first heartbeat at 168 bpm. I can escape to every one of those memories and often do... So, now a few notes...

Cassie, remember to slow down. You have spent so much of your life rushing, changing, running, and shifting... but now is the time to stop. The sounds of baby breathing are all you'll want to remember someday- even if Jimmy Fallon's jokes are hiiiilarious. So turn the TV off. The smell of Ellie's sweet post-bath baby skin is more important than being the cumpulsive Febreezer you currently are. So save your money and bathe her often.  The caress of baby fingers will be your ultimate missed memory so get over the fact that you HATE having your face touched [it's true, I HATE it] and let her go for it- peanut butter and jelly fingers or not. Maybe even let her give you open-mouthed, sweet potato slobbery kisses. Maybe. The taste of those kisses will probably be disgusting, but whatever. Suck it up. And, Cassie, the first sight of her will change your life. Stop. Look at her. REALLY look at her. She's only born once... She only takes her first step once... She only learns to roll over once... So. Stop. Stop being the silly, wild go go go girl... and watch her become that same go go go girl. Make sure that everytime she turns around to look at you, that you're there. It won't be easy to work, go to school, keep a home, and deal with all the outrageously stressful adult stuff... but sleep can wait. The Office Season 7 will come out on DVD. And you can learn to knit, cook, and speak Spanish when you're retired.... Oh. Except that you'll do this all over again with your grandchildren. So. Yeah. Just forget it. You weren't going to be any good at baking anyway. I mean it, Cassie. Stop. She needs your attention and enthusiasm, not your "wait a minutes" and excuses. Don't make the one mistake that you can never take back. Oh. And one other thing, even if you do sometimes forget and make the ultimate mistake... she will still love you.

Two days. 1. 2. ONE. TWO. Uno. Dos.

Nicely done, uterus.